...I changed names because you know...people be trippin...
The last two weeks of my career as an assistant buyer flew by like you would not believe. And I am not going to lie, I went through a range of emotions after giving my two weeks notice. At first I was numb, then I was nervous, when the weekend hit I was contemplating taking it all back and having hired cameras come up to my office so I could tell my boss he had been “Punk’d” But I didn’t. Pride wouldn’t let me do it. Especially when I had the last meeting with the VP of the company. Tammy.
Tammy was always very pleasant to me. However, I also think she took me for a joke. That in and of itself was insulting. I remember the last Monday that I would ever work at the company I went into her office to drop off the reports I had printed out for her. The reports showed weekly sales dollars, on hands, and on orders for the past week and compared it to the year before.
“Come in, come in. Close the door!!” She spoke just as I had made me way to the doorway of her office.
Honestly, that’s when I knew it was about to be some BS. I rolled my eyes and turned around with my brightest fake smile. If you’re a millennial you know you the one I’m talking about. It’s the same fake smile you give the parent who lost custody in the divorce, the one you love but really cannot stand going to their house, especially when your bed isn't really broken in because you’re never there, and all of your conversations consist of “How have you been...good...good.” That fake smile.
“So, I heard the news. You’re leaving us?” she smiled tight lipped as I made myself semi-comfortable in the chair in front of her desk.
“I am.” I responded cheerfully.
“Well why, what do you have planned, where are you going?”
Now here is the kicker about my facial expressions. I cannot control them. So I do not know if I looked annoyed answering these questions of no relevance to her, but I answered them. Quick sidebar: If you are leaving your job you do not HAVE to tell anyone where you are going. You do not owe anyone an explanation and it is really just them being nosey.
My dumbass answered because I can be a spineless jellyfish at times. I hate awkward conversations and I try my best to avoid awkward confrontations as well.
I grit my teeth, ran my tongue over my top row and started in. “There is no growth for me here.” Can you tell the record is broken? “I have a podcast that I have been working on for about a year now and I am going to go ahead and pursue that full time.”
This is when I let my cards show. I knew damn well she had no idea what a podcast was, and I really did not care. I had been working on #GOALS for about a year now. I was up to 1,000 plays a month and had a couple affiliate ads and some merchandise ideas. I was going to throw it all at this entrepreneurial thing and see what came out of it.
“Oh, well, I know you are busy doing your podcast THING. But do you think you could stay on for a little while longer, you know just to get us through the transition of finding someone to replace you?” She asked.
Podcast THING, PODCAST THING, THING
Did she just try to belittle me AND ask me for something at the same time? The thoughts in my head got progressively ignorant after this so I’ll stop there.
“No. I can’t. I’m already missing opportunities as we speak.” I shrugged and said in a sing-song apologize voice. My fake smile was at a 100 watts at this point.
See, when people think you need them they will discount your feelings, and disrespect you because they know you will do anything. This is true when it comes to a check and especially true when people think you are young and naive. But, this company and its corporate ways showed me that I would walk away from a bag or two for my self-respect.
“Well, that’s fine. We will be fine. You know we are always looking for people so we will survive and the company will keep going.” She answered with a condescending tone.
I smiled and this one was genuine. “OKAY THEN! Well, I’ma going to go get back to work.” Little did Tammy know, I road up on the elevator with a couple headhunters early that morning. The company had lost quite a few assistants that quarter and another had just put in their notice a few days after I had. They were hemorrhaging so they needed an outside service to help recruit. They needed me, at least for a few weeks and I was satisfied with my decision to forego another pay check. It was bigger than my comfortability. At this point it was about proving to myself that I was worth more than a couple more weeks of being used and thrown away.
They Needed Me.